“My new beginning”

Darren and his sister Karen shared their story, and how life was very different before Darren moved into Lady Elizabeth House, an extra care scheme in Maidenhead. Extra care is a type of ‘housing with care’ which means a person can live independently while being assisted with everyday tasks as needed.

When Darren was living on his own, he struggled to take care of himself and his flat. Karen explained “He was good at masking his true situation. It took a while for us to understand the extent of difficulty he was in.”

Darren added “I have always lived with difficulties. I went to a special needs school, and have very poor concentration and coordination.”

Soon after, Darren moved into an assisted living flat. He was settling in ok, but then became unwell which resulted in a hospital stay. Upon leaving hospital he received support from the Optalis Reablement Team. It became clear that Darren would likely need more ongoing support than the place he was living could offer.

Then, in April 2023 he was offered a flat at Lady Elizabeth House. Darren said: “It was a wonderful flat, and I could see that I would be very happy here.” However, getting to know a new building and new area proved a little too much; his mental health took a dip and one day on a walk Darren got lost. Karen remembered “I was very worried that something bad had happened. Elaine, Jo and the whole team were so supportive. We were all very relieved to see him safely home.”

The team worked with Darren and Karen to review how much support he wanted and the support around Darren stepped up at that point. Darren commented “The team are very supportive, kind and make sure I’m safe.”

Darren is a keen sports fan, with a particular love of cricket. His support team have introduced him to a local walking cricket club. A highlight of which, has been playing at the hallowed Lord’s Cricket Ground.

He also enjoys spending time, with new friends, at Boyn Grove’s Men in Sheds. He said: “Having a social outlet, gives me pleasure.”

Although Darren leads an active life, he like his downtime too: “When I don’t have much on, I’ll make myself a cuppa and sit in the shared lounge doing a wordsearch. I’m happy within myself and within the surroundings.”

There is a nice community feel at Lady Elizabeth House. Darren has met other people who live in the building, over karaoke singalongs and other special events.

Another thing that has been important for Darren is to have some male support. He said, “The ladies are all lovely, but it’s nice to have a guy to talk to.”

Karen reflected “It’s great to see Darren flourish. As a family we were perhaps guilty of doing too much for him, but here he’s able to do so much for himself. Now I get to be Darren’s sister instead of his Carer. We get to share our interest in music, by going to live gigs together. I love that we can now enjoy being in each other’s company without that sense of responsibility.”

She continued: “I’m so proud of Darren. He has grown beyond recognition. His mood still drops on occasion, but it’s not more than just a bit of a bad day.”

Darren said “My support team prompt me, but I’m in control of my routine and how I want to live. I take a personal pride in my flat that wasn’t there before. I’ve even started cooking for myself again, with the encouragement of Wendy and Becky. They also help me keep on top of managing my health and mental health.”

Karen added “The team have a flexible can-do attitude, if there’s something they can do to make life better for Darren they will do. You can see the interaction between the teams that work out of here, is one of strength; based on joint respect and genuine collaboration, to do the best for the people they are supporting.”

Karen ended by saying “It has felt cathartic to share our story. Whilst we wouldn’t want to relive those 2 years again, it’s good to reflect how far we’ve come.”

Darren agreed “It’s a new beginning for me.”